June 19, 2011

真的很懷念...


給爸爸抱著的機會很少,依然很懷念...
爸爸,父親節快樂!

May 11, 2011

Expression and Sensitivity



My boss just did a funny analysis about me today, it's pretty true.

Working 34/7 in the Positive

Strong, practical, physical, and spiritual, these individuals have learned to trust the mystery and wisdom of life working through them and through everyone else. These freethinkers trust in the process of their life, including the ups and downs, the difficulties and joys. Meditation, which quiets their mind, brings a sense of harmony and peace as a regular part of their life. Combining worldly interests with a commitment toward inner growth, these individuals dedicate their work, relationships, and activities to growth and awakening. They share their insightful nature based on direct experience and feel connected to Spirit even while pursuing the practical concerns of everyday life.

Working 34/7 in the Negative

These individuals feel torn between conflicting drives for security and desires to go inward and get away from the material world. Confused and troubled by a human world they don't trust, they see hypocrisy everywhere, reflecting the turmoil they feel inside. Self-doubt only aggravates self-trust issues, so they constantly look for teachers, techniques, and ideas that can help them; they become wandering spiritual vagabonds, seldom putting down roots long enough for anything to grow in their lives. Alternately, they want nothing to do with "crazy" spiritual things. Even though they may appear sociable and gregarious, they are wary of sharing their feelings and end up feeling alone.

March 11, 2011

每年的柑事


不知從那年開始,每年都總會有鑊幾「柑」的事要去面對。
沈著應對彷彿已是我的辦事方式。沈下沈下,沈了下去。
每當有人請我食柑:「好甜架!試下呀!」
坦白講,我好抗拒食。心諗:我年年都食唔少。
但願今年的柑事快点過去。
已經夠濕熱,再黎就濕滯。

March 01, 2011

海上的月光光


攝於2008年
澳洲黄金海岸的晚上。
Pentax K100D FA43mm F1.9

February 18, 2011

2009年 生日前夕...




晚上11時回到家中。
媽媽仍在沙發上看電視。
我的書檯上放著一封利是。
餐檯上放了一碟紅雞蛋。

媽:生日快樂呀!
我:未到喎!
媽:聽日嘛!
我:都未到喎!
媽:你唔係舊历十八咩?
我:十九。
媽:(質疑地)咩呀.......

三十秒後

媽:呀好似係舊历十九至真。唉!是鬼旦啦!等我坐到咁夜...
我:唔緊要,聽晚再坐過!
媽:..........

我把枱上的利是还给媽:嗱!明晚再给過吧!

超可愛。

我一直把利是放在桌上,於是乎,我每年也可以收到媽媽的生日利是。

February 15, 2011

127小時之後


回家洗澡後,腦袋一直停留在大峽谷。
有些人是這樣的,看鬼片會笑,因為覺得不真實。
要真實嗎?為了生存,用小萬用刀把自己的右手慢慢切開,
再用左手把右手強行扯斷,夠真實吧?
明知是拍戲,卻「咪」起雙眼只看小部份。
或者我就是這種人:會面對殘酷的現實,卻不敢睜大眼睛去看。
在電影中,不斷問自己:
我會冷靜自己嗎?我會。
我會自娛自嘲嗎?我會。
我會想盡辦法嗎?我會。
我會喝自己的尿嗎?我會。
如主角一樣,我不會在以為自己快要死而作最後一次手淫。
我會切斷自己的右手嗎?這個我真的不敢說。
戲完了,雙拳放鬆一看,生命線,感情線,事業線都是汗水。
生命,總算仍在手中。

February 11, 2011

總是有点...捨不得


它明明是身外物。
可是在2011年2月11日,
在没有表面傷痕的情況下,無原無故壞掉了,
心情總是有点手足無措,忐忑不安...
「吓?搞錯呀?點解會咁架?吊!」
明明聽緊「告白」的soundtrack, 在地鐵上卻这样發問着。
畢竟它是我非常貼身之物,忘記帶錢包也不会忘帶它。

或者,它是我09年聖誕禮物的原因。
唉!

February 09, 2011

"Splendor in the grass" Pink Martini



I can see you're thinking baby
I've been thinking too
about the way we used to be
and how to star a new

Maybe I'm a hopeless dreamer
maybe I've got it wrong
but i'm going where the grass is green
if you like to come along

Back when i was starting out
I always wanted more
but every time I got it
I still felt just like before

Fortune is a fickle friend
I'm tired of chasing fate
and when I look into your eyes
I know you feel the same

All these years of living large
are starting to do a sin
I wont say it wasn't fun
but now it has to end

Life is moving oh so fast
I think we should take it slow
rest our heads upon the grass
and listen to it grow

Going where the hills are green
and the cars are few and far
days are full of splendor
and at night you can see the stars

Life's been moving oh so fast
I think we should take it slow
rest our heads upon the grass
and listen to it grow

February 08, 2011

用這一文章去怀念媽媽


現在是 2011年,年初六,黃昏六時廿分。
一年前,媽媽的軀体於這日這時這分離開了,
而精神卻於這日這時這分長駐在我心中。
我怀念,但一定会振作。